Lately I've been feeling like shit. I've just been going through a whirlwind of emotions and school life has NOT been making it any easier! The only thing that has made my week is that Hal posted in the Lair a few days ago!!! Yet that also made me a bit depressed but don't worry about why...

I've just been feeling like I'm everyone's shadow. Like whatever I do will never be as good or cool or as gracious as what someone else does or give. It started earlier this week, I just feel what ever I do will never be enough especially for the people I love and care about the most and everyone's is just way over my head. I haven't even had time to sort out and analyze my feelings because I'm so busy with school and work. My life bascially consists of me trying to fit everything around other peoples and my schedule. To give you all a hint of what it's like here we go:

I get home at 3pm. I have to work Tuesdays and Thursdays from 5pm-10pm and then before that I have play practices at school until 4:30pm. I have to go to bed at 11pm and also eat, take a shower, and clean up. Where's my time for the tons of homework I get? I don't know either. Mondays and Wendsday are my only free days but those are the days that have to do homework that takes about 3 hours to get done and then I have to clean the house on those days. Fridays I have a little bit of free time from 3pm-5pm and then off to work from 6pm to 12am. Saturday is still more work at night and a little bit of fun in the day. Sunday is church, eat, and then work and then the same thing the following week. Not to mention that since I'm joining more clubs, that gives me even less time to myself. I'm lucky that I have the time to be online right now!

Everything is just so jumbled up and confusing. I just feel like a big space of nothing. Like nothing I do matters, nothing I say means a thing, and whatever I give to someone is just worthless.

And then to top off this glorious day, I almost got into a fight with some girl. And she still wants to fight me *sigh* I never have a break for anything now.

But I'm off right now to go to work.

BTW Check out this site for some fun quizzes, tests, and surveys!

P.S. Rocepta, I know you told me to quit apologizing but you know I can't help it, it will probaly be Friday or Saturday before I'm able to send the email. I hate keeping you waiting like this but with the lack of rest I'm running on, my email wouldn't make any sense if I tried to type it LOL. But I promise I'll send it soon!